Like many of you, I spend a fair portion of my week working in facebook. Building up your network is starting to yield some nice business opportunities. We’ve certainly seen the benefit here at MediaTrust.

The other day I was going through the “people you may know” section and a person in the social media space was suggested to me as a “friend.” I sent a friend request. I’ve gone through these motions many times before. Usually I get a response that I have been confirmed as a friend and both our networks are another person stronger - mutually beneficial I would think. However, something strange happened. I got a response back from this person (we’ll call him Joe Nobody), saying he didn’t recall meeting me in person and that instead of being his “friend,” I could be added as a “fan.”

I found this puzzling for two reasons. First, most of the connections I have on facebook are people I’ve never met in person. We live in a virtual world. Lots of business and personal connections occur through cyber-space. Why was it so shocking that a person you’ve never met in person would request “friend” status on facebook? Second, the notion that I’m not good enough to be your friend, but I can be your fan is absurd. Are you kidding me? This guy was a virtual nobody. I had befriended him because we had mutual career interests. To be rebuffed only served to illustrate how awful he must be at his job in social media. In fact, further review of his “fans” showed only three people. Oops, I guess others were put off by his ego-driven facebook elitism.

Social media is about collaboration. Haven’t we railed against traditional media because they talk at us and not with us? They want to control the conversation and we want a true open dialogue. By offering someone “fan” status on facebook, you’re eliminating the very component that makes social media important. Someone that claims to work in social media should know this. 

I have a network that continues to grow daily. Some of my facebook friends include: Robert Scoble, Arianna Huffington, Veronica Belmont, Andrew Baron, and Tim Bourquin - all giants in the new media space. They all could have asked me to be a fan, but none did. Instead, they graciously accepted my friend request. Joe Nobody chose not to and now he’s being left out of the conversation. In fact, Scoble commented on his blog a few weeks ago in regards to Twitter that it’s not how many people follow you that’s important, it’s how many people you follow that really helps expand your knowledge. He’s right.

This post can be applied to any company thinking about diving into the social media space. Is your goal to control a conversation? Is it to be the most popular person in the room? Or, is your intent genuine? Do you really want to learn from your network and be a part of the discussion? For Joe Nobody, it was clearly about popularity and who he thinks he is. Don’t be a Nobody.